By October 12, 2010 0 Comments Read More →

My right not to tell

DSC_0693The New York Times’ Motherlode section has an excellent story by Ilie Ruby, an adoptive mother of three children from Ethiopia. She talks about how she deals with personal questions about her children’s life stories.

Read the entire story on the NYT’s website.

Everyone wants to know the story of how we adopted three children from Ethiopia. But do I have a right not to tell it, existing as I do right out here on the front line, looking as I do, a Caucasian mom with three African kiddos? Taking my children to the grocery store or to the library without announcing where they came from? Do I have a right to live in the world, fully and enthusiastically and not announce my history or that of my children? I think, yes.

Adopting a child is a lot like opening a big thick book right in the middle. There are already several stories unfolding: the children’s, the birth parents’, and of course, ours, the adoptive parents’. After we have opened the book, we begin the process of creating a new beginning right in the middle of the book. That is how it starts.

Read a story on the same subject by Korean adoptee and adoptive mother Paula O’Laughlin.

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